you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
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