goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
