So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
