I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
