Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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