This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
