i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
