HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
