We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
