whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
