So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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