omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
