You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
