I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
