Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Your cock deserves a montage
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Couch. On fire.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
