are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
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