Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
So squirting runs in the family.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
