Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
