i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
