Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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