do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Let's paint friendship bongs
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
