Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
