my soul wont recognize me after tonight
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
