No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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