He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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