I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
True strength comes from lack of pants
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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