spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
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