you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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