My nipple is on Facebook.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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