Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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