If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
