I am in a vortex of obligation.
My hand turned me down
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
