Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
