the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
well you can't waste a boner
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
