How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
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