YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
