He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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