I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
