Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i barfeds in our rink
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
