its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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