so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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