Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
