...so i touched it.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
