I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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