a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
