i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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