Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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