Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
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