you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
