Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
