go do what you do best...puke behind churches
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Randomize
