that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
