Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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