Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Randomize
