ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
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