I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
