I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
