I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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