I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize