I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Randomize
