The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
