I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I know her cup size but not her name....
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
