yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
