maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
