were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
