just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize